Lighten up time

[cognostechie]

Telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the world.

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the
left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left ?
============================


Customer: Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't
print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of
the monitor, but the computer still says it can't
find it...
============================


Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 feet away.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
===============================


A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
=================================


Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
==================================


Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a
screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the
mouse, it disappears !
===================================


Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get
the circle around it ?

[cognosfreelancer]

 ;D ;D ;D
NKT

[cognostechie]

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed
through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place
to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young
woman and her grandmother.

After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young
programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving
each other looks.

Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is
a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without
saying a word.

1. The grandmother is thinking, "It was very brash for
that young man to kiss my granddaughter , but I'm glad she slapped
him."

2. The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the
young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she
hadn't missed him when she slapped me!"

3. The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy
kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!"

4. The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his
face.

He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the
chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at
the same time?"

[CoginAustin]

That was a great one!! lol