COGNOiSe.com - The IBM Cognos Community

General Discussion => General Discussion & Gossip => Topic started by: MFGF on 09 Feb 2011 07:11:15 AM

Title: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 09 Feb 2011 07:11:15 AM
Has anyone tried the new 'Chat' link at the top of the page?  Apparently my login is banned from there at the moment (that's what it says when I try to go in), but just wondering if anyone else has got in successfully?

MF.
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: Lynn on 09 Feb 2011 07:21:02 AM
It let me in but I'm the only one there. 

I'm looking forward catching up on recent events with me, myself, and I
;D
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: CognosPaul on 09 Feb 2011 09:01:32 AM
According to my supersecret moderator powers, I don't see any active bans in the chatroom. It might be that it can't handle super moderators.
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 09 Feb 2011 10:16:26 AM
Not even the least bit funny!!! I've never actually been banned before!  :o
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: melee on 09 Feb 2011 11:23:01 AM
Works for me, I'm in there... I sense a lot of sarcasm in my future
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: RobsWalker68 on 09 Feb 2011 03:39:40 PM
A banning MF shouldn't you warn yourself as well  ;)

Anyway couldn't get in at work but works at home just not on IE 64 had to use IE 32 bit for the Adobe plugin

Cheers

Rob
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 10 Feb 2011 07:57:02 AM
I often warn myself - in fact I think for moderators, the Applaud adds to negative and Warn adds to positive.  It certainly explains a lot! :)

I believe another user was taking my name in vein and pretending to be me pretending not to be me in the chat room.  I know who he is, and I'm sending the Boys round!!
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 10 Feb 2011 12:25:32 PM
Sadly, I'm still banned from the chat pages.  I must have been a very very bad boy (shame I don't remember, though - it must obviously have been fun!!).

My ban screen is attached as a cautionary tale for any other members considering a life of debauchery like mine must have been (at some unknown point)...
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: cognostechie on 13 Feb 2011 01:17:28 AM
Just saw this message and tried it ! It let me in  and I chatted with Paul.

For getting around your ban, all you have to do is create another ID on the forum and use that  ;)

Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 14 Feb 2011 03:44:02 AM
Yup - that's a good thought.  I just need to come up with a stealth user id that you spookily intuitive lot will not recognise within ten seconds flat!  Then I can make rude comments about you all without fear of reprisals.  Oh, wait, that's not allowed is it? In fact, that could get me banned all over again... :-)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: cognostechie on 14 Feb 2011 08:41:50 PM
Well, if I was the Admin, I won't ban anybody for bashing people up because that actually starts a conversation that shoots the adrenalin up your blood stream thereby increasing blood circulation which is so neccecary to improve health. So you see, making rude comments and inviting people to do so at you is healthy so even doctors would prescribe that  ;D
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 15 Feb 2011 05:19:32 AM
I like your thinking!  I have an idea for the name of a new user ID that nobody will ever guess is me, so I may well be hurling insults very soon while at the same time keeping my reputation intact! ;)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: gshilpa24 on 19 Jan 2012 07:17:05 AM
Hi All,

I can't see the chat room now at the top of the page... is it banned?  :(
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: bdbits on 19 Jan 2012 02:33:47 PM
Well for what it's worth, I don't see any sort of chat option either. I even tried IE thinking my locked down FF might be blocking something, but I do not see anything through the out-of-the-box IE either.
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 20 Jan 2012 07:01:57 AM
the people have spoken...give us the chatroom back, where mfgf can ban us!  :P
Title: Cognoise chat
Post by: Lynn on 20 Jan 2012 07:46:11 PM
You haven't lived until you've been banned by a muppet

:-)


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Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 24 Jan 2012 11:16:09 AM
Quote from: Lynn on 20 Jan 2012 07:46:11 PMYou haven't lived until you've been banned by a muppet

Somebody told me it was an exhilarating thrill! I think I would enjoy it. Oh, wait... If the muppet gets banned, who would do the banning? Or is that your cunning plan - to get me to ban myself so you can sieze my super-muppet powers?? Aha! Your wicked plot is uncovered!

Hmmm - I'm getting paranoid. I think I need a lie-down! :)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 24 Jan 2012 12:01:41 PM
"to get me to ban myself"-> good sign that cogno(i)s(e) has goten to you  ;D
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: CognosPaul on 24 Jan 2012 03:38:41 PM
Quote from: MFGF on 24 Jan 2012 11:16:09 AMOh, wait... If the muppet gets banned, who would do the banning?

Ahem. 8)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 25 Jan 2012 10:49:57 AM
Quote from: PaulM on 24 Jan 2012 03:38:41 PM
Ahem. 8)

Lol. Paul "hit me with your ban stick" M. I should have known a Cognoise super-hero would come to the rescue.  ::)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 25 Jan 2012 11:20:38 AM
"hit me with your banstick"...is that code?  :-X
Title: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 26 Jan 2012 11:19:16 AM
Quote from: charon on 25 Jan 2012 11:20:38 AM
"hit me with your banstick"...is that code?  :-X

Ha ha. No - just a variation on an old song title by Ian Dury & The Blockheads :)

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hit_Me_with_Your_Rhythm_Stick

I'm far too young to remember it, of course! Ahem. :-)


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Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: Lynn on 27 Jan 2012 10:12:02 AM
Holy cow! Ian Dury & The Blockheads!!! What a blast from the past.

Another hit of theirs was

"Cubes & Charts & Drag & Drop"

or something like that....my memory of the exact title is a bit hazy for many reasons

;)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 27 Jan 2012 10:25:11 AM
Quote from: Lynn on 27 Jan 2012 10:12:02 AM"Cubes & Charts & Drag & Drop"

I haven't laughed this hard in ages!! That is too funny!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: Lynn on 27 Jan 2012 10:27:22 AM
I wonder if all the youngsters are now doing google searches to figure this out or if they are simply shaking their heads with a bemused smile over the silly old folks
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 27 Jan 2012 10:41:09 AM
I assumed you did your own Google search to figure this out! ;)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 27 Jan 2012 11:00:51 AM
 ;D
thats kind of the 7er serious of music...great basics and fundamentals, great lines and codes, but still..a bit strange :P
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 27 Jan 2012 11:05:34 AM
I think "a bit strange" sums me up nicely!  ;D
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: CognosPaul on 29 Jan 2012 04:04:01 AM
Cubes and Charts and Drag and Drop
meet all of my BI need
Cubes and Charts and Drag and Drop
are very good indeed

Keep your crosstab nodes or drag them out the window
The wisdom of your slices, I've been there and I know
Slicing and Dicing, what a jolly good show
If all models are DMR and the like

[refrain]

Every hierarchy ought to be denormal
You can slice the cubes, measures are so formal
I should build the cubes of Mr. Ralph Kimball
See my DBA, he's called Inmon, my warehouse will never fall



Sadly (fortunately?) this is as much as the lyricist could write before he was discovered attempting to build a data warehouse according to the guidelines of both Kimball and Inmon at the same time. It took almost two weeks before the caffeine high wore off and he stopped talking about star schemas and normalized forms.  Let this be a lesson to everyone - don't let anyone see your meta-modelers before they're done. And make sure they have plenty of caffeine. And sushi.
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 29 Jan 2012 04:59:23 AM
no comment  ???
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: Lynn on 30 Jan 2012 07:25:19 AM
This is almost as much fun as the chat room was!
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: gshilpa24 on 02 Feb 2012 06:11:56 AM
Yes Please ;

Request you to give us back the chat room.  Please do not block... :(  It helps a lot to resolve quick issues ...
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: Grim on 06 Feb 2012 07:36:20 AM
What is this "chat" you speak of? ???
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: Lynn on 06 Feb 2012 07:49:57 AM
Once upon a time there was a Chat menu option up where you see Home Help Search etc.

It was a place to goof around and have some fun, oh, and once in a while help someone who had a question.

Not sure why it went away but I miss Inco and Crispin at times ;)

On the flip side, my productivity at work has improved
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: Grim on 06 Feb 2012 08:17:57 AM
From the top of the page....

"News: February 7th, 2011 - COGNOiSe.com now has integrated chat rooms!"

Um....no it doesn't.  :P

Just sayin.  ::)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 06 Feb 2012 09:01:21 AM
"On the flip side, my productivity at work has improved "

;D thank god i am never productiv under any circumstances ever.

So, because im such a bad BI developer, i think the chat would be the best thing that could happen to me (downgrading the productivity level of my collegues to look better in the eyes of my boss)

;D
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 08 Feb 2012 12:36:14 PM
Rumour has it the chat room is still there if you know where to look. While the link to it has gone, there is a wardrobe door somewhere that allegedly still leads to the chat page with it's quaint, evocative trills and calming blue theme. Sadly, I wouldn't know for sure, as my login has been banned from chat since the very first day it went up. All the admins and moderators deny any knowledge of this ban with wide, innocent eyes and pitying shrugs, but I am convinced that a certain red-mohican-haired budding lyricist (high on caffeine) moderator is secretly sniggering away, delighted to have banned the muppet and got away scot-free!

If I had to guess, I would imagine the secret wardrobe was somewhere around these parts:

http://www.cognoise.com/chat/flashchat.php

Who knows, though? Not me, certainly. I'm banned. Forever, it seems. I'm not bitter and twisted, though. Not a bit. Nope.
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 09 Feb 2012 02:21:52 AM
such a sad, twisted story mr.muppet  :'(
you should write a book, which will be basic for a hollywood movoe for sure. main characters played by ..well...a muppet i guess  ::)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: cognostechie on 10 Feb 2012 04:00:11 PM
A person who has everything straight in life must be having a darn boring life  ;D
Title: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 13 Feb 2012 07:37:33 AM
If you had asked me a few days ago, I would have agreed completely!


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Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: cognostechie on 13 Feb 2012 12:36:41 PM
Why not now ?
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: Lynn on 13 Feb 2012 01:09:36 PM
I suspect the distinction between Cognos Insight, Cognos Business Insight, and Cognos Consumer Insight has befuddled him beyond hope.

:o
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: cognostechie on 13 Feb 2012 01:47:28 PM
Good point ! and maybe Cognos Forum Insight has added to it too  ;)
Title: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 13 Feb 2012 02:27:46 PM
Quote from: Lynn on 13 Feb 2012 01:09:36 PM
I suspect the distinction between Cognos Insight, Cognos Business Insight, and Cognos Consumer Insight has befuddled him beyond hope.

:o

The lady has a spookily uncanny ability to read my mind, it seems!! :-)

Sorry, just having a bad day. Normal muppet idiocy is now resumed. :-)

MF.


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Title: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 13 Feb 2012 02:28:47 PM
Quote from: Lynn on 13 Feb 2012 01:09:36 PM
I suspect the distinction between Cognos Insight, Cognos Business Insight, and Cognos Consumer Insight has befuddled him beyond hope.

:o

The lady has a spookily uncanny ability to read my mind, it seems!! :-)

Sorry, just having a bad day. Normal muppet idiocy is now resumed. :-)

MF.


Snet form my fumblefingers
iPhon 5 usig Tapatalk
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 13 Feb 2012 04:24:36 PM
"Normal muppet idiocy"
and just as proof, he replies twice with the same entry...
:P

imao, it HAS to be a bad star constellation, in combination with not enough good wine at the weekend and the new Cognos Insight application.
What a scary situation :o
Title: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 14 Feb 2012 05:32:07 AM
I blame the patchy wifi in Malta for the double-post! It wasn't the beer! Definitely! :)


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Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 14 Feb 2012 06:13:16 AM
of course not  ;)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 15 Feb 2012 01:54:16 AM

Just wanted to mention that yesterday, i experienced the pleasure of chatting with one nice representant of the cognoise community...
So...The CHAT is ALIVE!
:P
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: gshilpa24 on 21 Feb 2012 11:36:32 AM
yes please, give us the chat room back. Please do not block.  :'(
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: Ganesh Kedari on 22 Feb 2012 03:49:08 AM
I am not able to locate chat link .. is it still available ?
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 22 Feb 2012 09:52:03 AM
Quote from: samcorp3 on 22 Feb 2012 03:49:08 AM
I am not able to locate chat link .. is it still available ?

I posted the URL further back in this thread... It is flash-based though, so will not work on Apple devices :)

Cheers!

MF.
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 24 Feb 2012 04:58:57 AM
try pear devices instead...MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  :-X
oh boy i need my weekend
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 24 Feb 2012 06:45:20 AM
Quote from: charon on 24 Feb 2012 04:58:57 AM
try pear devices instead...MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  :-X
oh boy i need my weekend

Oh dear! I think you need to lie down in a quiet room for a short while. :)
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 24 Feb 2012 06:52:50 AM
add a cold beer and i totaly agree  ;D
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: Grim on 24 Feb 2012 08:43:59 AM
Quote from: MFGF on 24 Feb 2012 06:45:20 AM
Oh dear! I think you need to lie down in a quiet room for a short while. :)

Off to the kitten room for you?!  ???

ROFL  ;D
Title: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 25 Feb 2012 03:08:00 AM
Quote from: Grim on 24 Feb 2012 08:43:59 AM
Off to the kitten room for you?!  ???

ROFL  ;D

You may not know this, but I am also a talented poet as well as being a muppet! Here is an example:

30 days hath September,
April, June,
And the banned offender.

:)


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Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 27 Feb 2012 02:05:41 AM
once upon a time, where shakespiere muppets are guarding the bann button...
we live in strange times indeed  :o
Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: MFGF on 28 Feb 2012 05:03:37 PM
Here is another example:

I went to market with my brother Jim
When somebody threw a tomato at him
Now, tomatoes are all right when the come in their skin
But this sucker didn't
It came in a tin!

:)

Legendary muppet poetry.
Title: Cognoise chat
Post by: Lynn on 28 Feb 2012 05:40:46 PM
Jim should know better than to use relational functions in a dimensional report!!

p.s. It was Paul who threw the can ;)


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Title: Re: Cognoise chat
Post by: charon on 29 Feb 2012 02:06:01 AM
amaaaazing  ;D